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The Real Co-Parenting Strategy

We thought co-parenting would be a fairy tale. Like literally I think we thought we had it made in the shade. And honestly I think that with the other parents involved it pretty much is a fairy tale. I mean think about it. Camden’s dad, Kodi, isn’t really a factor at all. I so that alone, as far as making moves and deciding on things, is a real blessing. (Before someone bites my head off…I just mean as far as co-parenting….not the fact that he isn’t in his life fully, **even though that might be a blessing too**). And Chubb’s mom and her husband are great. We just were all at a T-ball game together for Chubbs and it felt so great to be there and getting along. Most families can’t say that.
But like I said…I don’t think it’s them as much as I think it might be us! The real struggle is having to co parent in the same house. Co-parenting also goes when you are raising someone else’s child in your home as well. And maybe we thought we didn’t have to think about that because we are so happy and in love with each other that we just assume that we would have no issues with our children and raising them together. But lord has it been hard.
Not like the worse though. Just slightly harder than I thought it would be. I think the biggest thing with co-parenting is knowing when enough is enough. I tend to have my own opinion about things and so does Coke. I think I am just a little more forth coming with mine then he is. There was the one issue with spankings and popping our kids that we didn’t and still don’t see eye to eye about. But I had to come to grips that we have to find a common ground. We are both doing what we need to do and think is right for each of us. We still very much so value each other and where the other stands with our differences. But like anybody we want the other to see our side and do it.
Even with the whole issue about Camden sleeping in his own bed that I wrote about yesterday (FYI: We are talking again) I think it was a lot more about being able to understand each other better. When you read all these books about co-parenting they talk more about getting along with the estranged spouse and having a child/ren in two locations with two sets of parents. But what about the house where it’s a blended family and learning how to accept that you have to balance and manage, in our case, 5 different opinions on just two children? I mean I can barely stand to listen to Kodi give me advice on Camden, let alone now having to take into consideration three extra people.
And I know what you parents who have no idea of what co-parenting in the fairy tale world looks like, is thinking….Why do you have to consider what the other parents of his child, thinks about you parenting your child? Well let me break it down for the foolish. We are planning to be living in the same house. And with that being said we have decided that things will be fair across the board. No one child will get special treatment over the next. So in moving forward there can’t be any stones left un-turned. I will address and include Sam (Chubbs mom) in decisions that I make for Camden that could in turn effect choices and decisions that Coke makes for Chubbs. Isn’t that really what Co-parenting is? Working as a team to raise the best children in the world?
I live in this world that I sometimes doesn’t feel like my real life. There is the life I am living and the life I know I want to have in the very near future. I close my eyes and I think and meditate on that life almost every single day. When I think about raising these two boys I think about doing it with all the parents that they have in their lives. I want to be that family that we can all hang out and have dinner together. I want there to be such an open line of communication and fellowship with each other. I don’t want to have separate birthdays, holidays, or special occasions. Co-parenting is about more than just the differences the parents may have but about the common interest being the children.
Blended families are hard. And if I was doing it with anybody else I don’t think it would be as successful. We were foolish to think that our problems could only come from outside of our doors and not looking within. But I am so happy we were able to see this now. So that moving forward we can learn to co-parent our blended family, successfully!

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5 Comments

  • Bre Femmee

    I’m not a single mom or even a mom at that, but this is such a good reelection on how life in general and being a parent comes with no manual. I love the honesty and lessons you’re learning.

  • Vet Leow

    This takes great team work to work but i guess as long as everyone agrees on certain issues and the kind of values to impart to the children, things will be fine… 🙂

  • Denay DeGuzman

    What a great inside look at co-parenting. It sounds like a challenge, especially with a blended family, but also very worthwhile. I love that you’re figuring it all out and making it work! This means happy children and happy parents all the way around. 🙂

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