Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to a woman that I have found to be such a great role model to me. We met around November of last year and instantly there was a divine connection. Since then Sherelle has been someone that I have literally laughed with, cried with, told all my business to, and aspire to be like when it comes to step parenting. Her brand and website gives advice and input on how to do this parenting thing and how to do it right! I am all about supporting other moms and getting them to share their stories. So naturally when I started doing these interviews I knew Relle would be one of the first few people I needed to interview. Enjoy our conversation below and please check out her website for all you need to know about being a DOPE step mom!


momE: Let’s start first with your story about becoming a mother. When did you first become a mom? And was that experience a challenge for you?

Sherelle: My introduction to motherhood was through my step son. I thought motherhood was going to be a breeze.  It really didn’t seem hard at all. There was a little drama but nothing drastic. But that relationship helped me learn how to care for and be responsible for a child. It taught me how to put my wants and needs aside for someone else who was depending on me.

momE: You became a mom before you physically bore children. How would you say that helped or harmed the relationship you had with the children that you actually birthed?

Sherelle:  I believe it helped me. I don’t believe it harmed me in any way regarding motherhood. All the lessons I learned with my stepson helped me to be a better mother. I meet my stepson when her was 2 going on 3 so one of the things that he taught me that really helped me was patience. I actually believe building a bond with my stepson gave me baby fever.

M: HAHAHAHA! Well what made you start your blog? Did you feel like there were women that you needed to reach?

S: So I started “The Secret behind the STEP” 3 years after I got married. In the beginning of my marriage my husband was going through 2 custody and child support battles with both of his children’s mothers. At that time there were a lot of ups and downs, I started to feel lost. I felt like I didn’t have an outlet. I talked to my husband but he really could not understand my position. I tried googling things and looking for other blogs but they just didn’t relate. I was dealing with one stepchild that lived with us full time and one that we shared partial custody with. In the beginning it was difficult wearing different hats. Every family is different so I was sure there were other stepmother/moms out there that needed an outlet as well. Other woman who could relate to the things I was going through. So I created what I needed.

M:I like that you said you created what you needed. That what I think all good moms do. We make something when there looks like there is nothing. But, how is it that you juggle being a mom, wife, and having your own business?

S: My Planner! And the fact that I stop making excuses, and I made it WORK! I use to be the mom that kids were in every sport, husband worked a job with a crazy schedule and I was so wrapped up in my children and husband that I lost myself. I had to come to the realization that my husband and kids being happy didn’t complete me. I started my marriage thinking as long as they were happy I would be happy but that wasn’t the case. I could not let my SELF or my personal dreams die! And that’s ok! Once I learned to be ok with that, I was able to schedule my time to run my business and have my me time. It took discipline and a lot of scheduling, thats why I love my planner.

M: With having such a blended family and step parenting, do you find it hard to balance all the different relationship roles within your household? What piece of advice would you give other moms who are trying to find a balance in being the step mom and also the birth mom?

S: It started out as a challenge but it’s a breeze now. I use to think as long I treated my children the same, and I treated my stepchildren as my own than that was ok. That wasn’t the case I had to learn that they all needed something different from me. See in my home I have my step daughter who I am her full time mother figure. My step son who’s mother is involved and share partial custody. I also have my own biological son. So my husband and I had to first figure out what my role was in his children’s life. We agreed on what was needed from me and communicated that with our children. That alone made our relationships clear.

So I would advise you and your spouse to 1st agree on the role thats needed in the Childs life. Also have that same conversation with the child and their parent that way everything is upfront and clear.
M:That is great advice and something that I feel like personally I get from you. That it’s okay to be different and not be everything to each child, but to make sure we are what they need and not what we feel like they should have.  Is there a mother out there that you look up to or seek personally for advice when you need it? If so, who and why? 
S: Yes! Absolutely my family is filled with very strong woman and mothers. I lean on each and every one of them and I learn from them all. I learn what to do and what not to do sometimes lol. Most of all I look up to my mother, she’s my rock! There are also a lot of mothers I meet in passing or on social media that give good tips and motherly advice. I feel we can learn from everyone around us even if its what not to do.
M: If you could give the younger you a piece of advice to prepare for the new you, what would it be?
S: I guess I would tell my younger self it’s ok to date a man that has a child. Be brave, and do what works best for your family. Even if other people don’t understand or if it goes against the norm. Trust yourself. Be you! You’re DOPE!

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